Thursday, 13 January 2011

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Looking back on my time in Fiji, I realise that it would not have made the impact on me that it did if I had flown over any sooner or later. Fiji was the right thing for me at the right time. Perhaps its me Psychologically tricking myself into thinking this but I feel like my experience in Fiji, in some sense saved my life. Not that I was on the verge of death but I was on the verge of loosing myself. Everything I thought I had wanted, I didn't anymore. My aims and goals were changing. My health was bad, I was going crazy! Stressed all the time. I had nothing absolutely nothing figured out. The beautiful Island Fiji held onto that struggling last piece of me and built on it. I rediscovered myself; I had a much better persona than before and for the first time I genuinely liked who I was and the feeling was fantastic! So many incredible new things opened up to me in my first two months there.. I experienced feelings I'd never felt before. Languages and stories I'd never heard. Met people from all over the world and learnt about their homes which before then, I had known so little about. I ate food I'd never eaten - as a whole you could say I tasted life like I had never tasted before. This whole new World opening up infront of me captured my heart and drew me into not only experience it but to become entirely part of it. I keep trying to find the right words to describe how this Island and its Lovely people made me feel but I can't ..because I don't really know what I'm feeling, but the feeling is strong and the more days that past, the harder it gets to be away. Every spare minute I have I spend thinking about Fiji, browsing through pictures, watching videos, listening to local music and most of all, finding the quickest way back out there.
It's a bizzar feeling, being in Love, especially when its not directly at a person but rather to a large population of people .. and land. I honestly don't think I'll Love anything as much again. Part of the reason for that being, anywhere else my travels take me, the experience won't be as new to me as Fiji was. I guess the quote "You don't forget your first Love" would be appropriate here. ;) As would "Distance makes the Heart grow fonder."
My eyes sting when I look at pictures of my Family and Friends. Every day I check my Inbox and hope that one of them will be from a friend ir relative in Fiji. Friends and Family back in Scotland think this feeling will pass and I'll move on but the more time passes by the more I hold on.... May! May! May! Hopefully then I will be back... Let the countdown begin. Again .....

7 comments:

  1. I teared. I always do when you write something. Your words are beautiful.
    Lots of Love and Love and more Love. <3

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  2. Och süße.. du armer ding! Du gehts bald wieder dahin! Kopf hoch mein Engel!!

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  3. Beutifully written. :)
    Sounds amazing!!

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  4. Really well written. You definately have a way with putting life into words. Keep them posts coming!!

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  5. Wonderful Gwen. Absolutely wonderful. *kiss*

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  6. Tres bien Mademmoiselle! ;)

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